04 November 2010

Ordinary Day

It’s another November morning, and it’s cold and rainy, the baby is finally napping and the toddler is running around destroying the house as usual. To only have some of his energy, all the things that I could get done. Instead I am sitting here overwhelmed by all the things that need to get done, trying to figure out where exactly to begin. Why is it that when you have so much to do, it feels like you actually move even slower to get it done? Is it just that when there is so much, even getting a few things done, makes it seem like you got nothing done?

Today, for example, my fiancé has been dropped off at his work, my 8 year-old is off to school, my 2 year-old has been fed breakfast, my 7 month-old has had breakfast and is now taking a nap, and I have attempted to have a cup of coffee before it gets cold while doing other things. Yet there is a pile of folded laundry sitting on my couch, next to the basket of laundry waiting to be folded, laundry downstairs in the basement to be switched over, and a pile of dishes sitting in my sink and on the counter, next to one load I have already cleaned. My dining room table once again has bags, jackets, and other miscellaneous items thrown upon it. It seems like the most convenient place to put things when walking in through the back door. Mind you I just spent a half hour last week cleaning off that table and putting things back where they belong. I have a large bag of hats, mittens and scarves to go through and sort, so that the kids and I can find them easily when needed. I have boxes of summer clothes and clothes that the kids have outgrown waiting to be brought down to the basement, which is another area of the house which is in desperate need of organization.

Looking at all the things that still need to be done, is so overwhelming, it makes me want to go back to bed. There are some days I just wish I could sleep all day and catch up on those nights of little or no sleep, but each day I have to get up and take care of kids and attempt to get my long list of things done. I think we need to find a way to bottle kids’ energy so that we can use it as needed. It would probably work better than caffeine. There has got to be some way to get better quality sleep each night, even if you have to get up with the kids. I don’t want to have my kids grow up too fast, I love the baby stages, but I do look forward to when the baby is sleeping fully through the night. I suppose there is always the possibility I will then wake up worrying if all is ok, when he is not waking up during the night. Then the older kids get to the teenage years and want to go out with their friends, and then you have a whole new set of reasons as to why you aren’t getting to bed earlier and sleeping well. The life of parents!

I definitely wouldn’t change being a mom, even with lack of sleep and little energy on a daily basis there are some many great things you get to experience. Witnessing those big moments, like the first time they rollover or sit up by themselves, as well as just the everyday things like watching them play and even sleep is the best thing in the world. Seeing the kids grow and change everyday as they learn about the world around them and about themselves is a reward in itself.

When I lost my job a couple of years ago, I was expecting my second son, and I was so stressed over the financial loss. The things I wouldn’t miss were spending a large portion of my day commuting, and an even larger part at work away from my kids. What I would miss were the friends I had made over the years of working there, the adult conversation and of course the financial means that go along with having a job. What it did gain me, was time with my oldest son, time to spend with my newborn son, who is now a toddler, and now time to spend with my newest addition, another son. I am so happy to have had this time to spend with my kids. It has not been without its own challenges, mostly in the financial areas, but also in time management when it comes to balancing between the kids and the housework. It has opened up some opportunities to work on getting a writing career going, as well as researching the avenues to work from home, which I am hoping will come through soon. If not, I am sad to say that I will have to venture back to finding work outside of the home unfortunately.